Melancholy and Raving Madness

by In My Absence

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1.	Grief 11:06	lyrics	buy track
The earth whispers, yet I do not heed it's call Deafened by this mounting grief This sorrow, unwavering in its fealty Only serves to strengthen my resolve Lost the fire...lost the light within All desire ripped from my eyes as though it were a fleeting dream Ground these aspirations, you'll never see them through All I want...remembrance for my time, what some would call a wasted life I pray on fallen stars, bring me solace now Sing not for me but to that which I have left behind On my knees I'd kindle this flame Weary, as I gaze towards the sky Brave the cold and darkest pits of despair I've called to you and drowned myself in loathing Bitter, yet still...oh how Ive missed that life Broken and bleeding but still holding on Hoping that things might change Sorrow... I feel like its wasted on these things, all that would crumble Be brave and be humble, oh some would say All for nothing, ill wither away Brave the cold and darkest pits of despair I know you can hear me, that you've read my words Yet I wonder, has remorse crossed your lips? Far too forgiving and it drags me down Never knowing faith is now the darkest path Sing to me, revealing all From secrets kept, removed from fear The silent one, always with me Lingering, driven by grief
2.	Anhedonia 07:35	lyrics	buy track
I feel like I'm failing, stoking embers Prodding a flame that offers no warming embrace Fading, smoldering, its light growing dim Its not how I thought it would be, its so much worse here With nothing and no one left, to wither alone Pray, beg if you must That all that you had may be renewed Yet you must suffer alone Still, there's no healing when nothing's left to mend A weight bearing down upon me, splitting bone, crushing hope and trust Oh how long must I suffer, a shadow hangs over me still A tidal force pulling me down further beyond what I can handle I've seen death standing by my hearth, bidding me to take her hand Offering a different path, far away from bitterness and longing
3.	Colored in Slate and Death 07:22	lyrics	buy track
The breathing upon your neck, haunting and cold crawling and slithering, becoming one Slowly it eats away at all that you are Calling you by your name, like lovers forgotten And slipping into the middle distance, The space between words unspoken, uncomfortable silence and stoic resolve Its like the sun stopped shining, A deafening cry of silence terrifies me nameless and bitter still, its all that I know Wandering aimlessly through heartbreak and cold Solemn and shivering, long have I cried I feel that light was washed away, abandoned again Feeling broken down, hollow, without intent Fighting within myself, no weapon in hand Losing myself, looking forward to a tragic end I feel that light was washed away, abandoned again Feeling broken down, hollow, without intent Fighting within myself, no weapon in hand Losing myself, looking forward to a tragic end
4.	Spiteful and Vile 07:49	lyrics	buy track
A wallowing pest you are Dreadful useless filth Bound to your master's call Feeding on deprecation Sallow and loathsome A whimpering husk of your former self A shallow and lonesome grave Far more than I deserve As I watch the blanket of twilight, neath a bleeding star Falling fast around me, consumed by need As if I'd thrust a spear with my own hand, just to feel the sting once more Memories like binding torment, I cant help but to replay I can see, I can feel these words so spiteful and vile Sprouting forth like wretched growth, tainting all with a gesture Reflections in light, they are bathed, a past most certainly gone You'll find no footprints return, so suffer alone A lingering call from the grave points me to the path forward, to nothing Only silence and pain, could be wrought by such things You'll see there is nothing to find While searching inward You'll be rotting, festering Forgotten, reduced to nothing Perpetual misery Empty handed and betrayed You could watch the fear in my eyes, almost a haunting ghostly grey My skin grown pale and cold, and something vapid seeping through Like a constant wave of numbness, and malice building still Ill seethe as i bare witness, becoming without form I can see, I can feel, these words so spiteful and vile Sprouting forth like wretched growth, tainting all with a gesture Reflections in light they are bathed, a past most certainly gone You'll find no footprints return, so suffer alone Ceaseless thoughts that keep spewing forth, gnashing, gnawing, and bleak A relentless unfaltering wonder, volatile without remorse Thrashing and violent, vying subservience With Blistering rage it consumes No refuge from hatred or discord Yet I am bound by an oath I have sworn
5.	The Black Stag 08:12	lyrics	buy track
O subject mine, gaze upon and witness me O vessel mine, follow me into the deep earth Silence following, I know that you hear my call Oppressive, encompassing, your will is no longer your own Oh great one, oh blackest of shade Who's name knows every tongue I see you there, I feel you in the rot With ashen crown of smoldering cinder And older than the earth we sow O sorrow mine, call my name and know I will answer O vengeance mine, stark and cold, long have I missed your touch Fading, lost from light, and so far removed I am Aimless, wandering, and naught left of virtue And though the weight is crushing, a smothering veil, I'm finding it hard to release Desolate it may seem, though its nothing more than malice bred from insight While looking inside finds there is nothing left here, nothing to fill me with pride I resign myself to loathing, writhing, and cursing the light t feels like its getting darker somehow Few can see me spiraling, breaking, drowning... I barely have it contained So exhausting, feigning the norm Sovereign, waiting, as my light returns to the void

about

This album is a culmination of anger, depression, self loathing, and loss. It represents where I, as a musician, have arrived in my personal life and relationships with others and where I stand within my own mental confines. It is only now that I have been able to wade through trial and vicious error to find my own sound, Unlike previous releases, Melancholy and Raving Madness sees me expressing my true voice as an artist, and there will be more to come in the future.

credits

released October 1, 2023

All music written, recorded, and produced by B. Bane at his personal recording studio and is the sole property of the artist